Black Swan

I watched Black Swan the other day and I must say I loved it, though I'm not sure I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

This complex, compelling psychological thriller follows the story of an aspiring and dedicated ballerina, Nina, who is too obsessed with her portrayal of the Swan Queen, her dream starring role, it eventually starts affecting her own life. 

Nina is cold, vulnerable, naive and a coward at times. Nina can easily handle the White Swan's role but the show's director is afraid that Nina is not able to be her seductive and sensual evil twin - the Black Swan. She was instructed to find the darker side of herself to nail the role. At the same time, she feels threatened by the wilder version of herself, Lily, a new dancer at the ballet company, whom she believes is trying to steal the role away from her. As much as she was a rival, she was also a friend who always encourages Nina to let go and live and do things like sex, drinking and drugs. Nina is also pressured by her controlling mother, a retired ballerina, who treats her like a little girl and lives vicariously through her daughter since she couldn't make it herself. 

The pressure of the role starts taking its toll on Nina when she begins scratching herself till she bleeds and struggles to find her own identity and perfection in everything she does. She slowly descends into madness by seeing disturbing visions of herself, Lily and things around her. Her mental state is falling apart yet she did become the Black Swan eventually, although the role is eating her up, sending her into a downward spiral of depression, anxiety, angst and paranoia.

In short, this story mirrors the conflict between good and evil, and between dreams and reality (what's real and what's not), in which, of course, something we can easily relate to ourselves. We can't reach perfection, no matter how hard we work. It'll only drive us crazy! I think it was amazing to have the black and white swan played by the same person for it shows the good and bad sides of us in our pursuit of perfection, even if it means we have to pay for it at a very high price, just like Nina did. 

This movie affected me down to my bones. The symbolism was perfectly done and well shown. It's a movie worth seeing and learning from, but it's not the type of movie you'll have fun watching (especially the OTT sex scenes!). The pace of the movie is slow and it's boring at times, but this only provides us more time to savour each scene and get ourselves immersed in Nina's world. Watch the other side of Natalie Portman in this movie (in fact, she does most of her own dancing!). She definitely shines.