Sunday, November 30, 2008

A fiery temperament

My feet ached. I screamed heartily from deep inside. but I kept on going. going, and going, without turning back. My head ached, too, and I felt like banging it up against the wall. Do not ask me why I wanted to do so. But I think I'll be better off without harming myself. Frankly speaking, I'm sort of deprived of quality sleep these days but what the heck! My stomach grumbled, adding up to my already mountainous agony, crying out to me wanting to be fed. Yeppp, coming up... be patient a bit aye!

But wait.. it seemed like I'd forgotten something. Good god. I ran back down, knowing how disappointed it would be for that someone not having what was requested previously. But I'm running late!, I said to myself. Thump, thump, I went down the stairs, got what I was there for, and came back up in the speed of light.

Panting, I looked around. He was nowhere in sight. Where are you? I contemplated my answers of my own rhetorical question. I heaved a sigh of frustration and slight annoyance, especially after receiving 'the call'. It's okay, this is only a small matter, I constantly reminded myself, attempting to be calm before I get too close to snapping. And if all else fails, I might need to excuse myself and dash off to indulge in a social interaction or a relaxation technique. Doesn't it sound better? what the heck am i blabbing about...

After a while, 'ah, here he is!', roared myself jovially. But everything vapourised as angry remarks hit me on the face the instant I got inside the car. I marvelled at his unfathomable demonstration of peculiar behaviour. Slowly, I wiped off the sweat on my forehead, so completely stumped that I could hardly say a word. I remained silent all the way through and only whispered my answers at whatever questions thrown at me. This can't be happening.. I'd tried my best!, I screamed angrily inside for words had failed me this time. I cried invisible tears as I immersed myself looking at the passing vehicles and the view outside. And all of a sudden, I didn't feel hungry anymore....

Forget about dinner, or everything else. I do not even want to deal with this anymore. It's too painful and excruciating. It's true that if I don't get my own way I would embark on my set of temper tantrums. Most of the times, yes. But this time I figured that it's a lil bit different. I was trying to prove a point, and was not in one of my moods for nothing! A girl could not take in too much, could she?! My pride was torn apart. And my heart ached, literally. Who's to be blamed? Mind you, I'm not trying to start the blaming game. I just think, maybe this one time, I am right and that my thoughts and feelings are counted, and considered. Just maybe. Cranky? No way. I'm in a bad mood, plain and simple. I'm this close to letting it fly, but for some reason, I stop myself. I'll know it was an even better move tomorrow, when I see the person I spared from verbal decimation. Thank goodness I was merciful. It wouldn't have been a fair fight.

But I don't think that he even cared. Period.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

In this stubbornness

With thoughts pouring out like waterfall, I sit absent-mindedly, pondering, and pondering, and pondering what the heck is wrong with me.. Right here, right now, everything seems so wrong.. very, very wrong.. The moment I try to make it right, I just fail, and I stumble on and I fall.. and I end up hurting other people instead.. It seems that I just can't get away from this stubbornness, this enormous wall of ego I myself do not realise I've built around me.

As much as I think that I've matured enough to handle things, I've become this sensitive person I know I've never been. I snap and get annoyed easily. Even itsy-bitsy matters would turn my mood upside down and make me go berserk inadvertently and adventitiously. From this so-called cheerful, jolly, chatty person, I will become this totally disgruntled lady that even a glare could be unbearable. You really don't wanna mess with me now.

But hey, I AM NOT perfect. I've tried my very best to please everyone around me. Be it friends, or family, or even strangers or friends I hardly knew. I really do. But sometimes, things are not in my favour, so is it plainly wrong to actually object and show how much you disagree with it? I can be subtle yet I can be blunt, too. You want to play honest, I'm all up for it! You sure you can handle it?

If I'm mad, or possibly not in the mood, or I'm not being 'me', just leave me alone attending to my stubbornness. I'd rather quiten myself than snapping out of my dissatisfaction or endless sensitivity. You don't wanna be my next victim, do you? But it's really killing me, when people demonstrate how unappreciative they are to how much or how best I've appeared trying to be. And it's killing me, too, to be unable to understand and comprehend the complexity of one's mind and actions. I look everywhere for answers, for solutions, for anything at all that I could hold on to, but it's not as simple as Googling or reading ABCs. Oh, if only it's THAT easy.

I want to forgive, I want to believe that this is just another melodrama out of my uncontrolled emotions.. But an egoist myself, maybe it's true when people say that I'm too proud and too stubborn to admit my mistake. But if only you could be in my shoes and see the world from my perspective, maybe then you would realise how things do not appear the way we want to be at all times. But hey, look on the bright side, a little privacy would be nice, wouldn't it? *smirk*

'It's okay', I say to myself quietly. After all, every cloud has a silver lining.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Dinners, and more

Event: Sung Siew Schools Annual Dinner
Date: 7 November 2008
Time: 7.00 pm onwards
Venue: Grand Ballroom, Sabah Hotel

were they, like, looking at the waiter admiringly, or hungrily..?

our table

will u just look at that..? din win any though ahaha *poor me*

alia n me

mr patrick mesmerised the audience with his smooth line dance moves =)

a round of applause for the duo for the nite.... pairins and elcy..! *clap clap*

wow, kak saonah, the clerk, can really sing and dance..
go shake your booty, babyyy! lol

the people behind sung siew schools - the board members

when ladies got together.. =)

Event: Sung Siew's End-of-year's Dinner

Date: 31 October 2008
Time: 7.30 pm onwards
Venue: Plantation Cafe, Sabah Hotel

those girlsss..! ahahaha

mommy-to-be, hasanah, kak fidah, me, kak nita n kak fizah

smile, people..!

me, mr patrick, alia, mr loh and the lovely mdm. grace

no luck this time round *sigh*

look at how proud mr patrick lim was to finally win the lucky draw! lol

happy birthday, mr lee!

Monday, November 24, 2008

The longest survey ever..!

I was tagged by Cik Rue to do this survey not long ago.. Since I've nothing to do, here it is! lol

[01] Real Name:
= tut tutttt =D
[02] Nickname:
= Aida, Aidalicious, Aida Ikmal, Cik Aida, Whyda, Ida, Teacher (^_^)
[03] Status:
= single but not available
[04] Zodiac Sign:
= sagittarius
[05] Gender:
= female
[06] Age:
= gonna be 24 soon
[07] High School:
= smk sultan idris shah II, perak
[08] College:
= ipba/victoria university of wellington, nz
[09] Height:
= 165cm
[10] Weight:
= tut tut secret wakaka
[11] Do you like yourself:
= love yourself before loving others, they say.. so, yes, i do like myself (vain, but wth ahaha)
[12] Piercings:
= yep (two for each ear n proud of it!)
[13] Right or left:
= right (handed)
[14] Are you a freak :
= totally not!
[15] Hair:
= err used to be black ehehe
[16] Skin:
= tan
[17] Allergic:
= to metal accessories
[18] What are you doing now:
= answering dis whatchacall a long survey!
[19] What will you be doing 1 hour later:
= doing housework, pretending to be a good housewife-to-be wakaka
[20] What will you be doing 10 years later:
= i picture myself as a lecturer, with a masters, teaching in a college somewhere, with a big house, and husband and 3 kids in tow, travelling the world at any given opportunity =)

[21] Live with mother/father/parents:
= staying with a couple of teacher-friends instead
[22] Siblings(included you):
= 4
[23] Eldest:
= me, myself and i
[24] Youngest:
= lil bro faiz
[25] Love/hate your family:
= you can love or hate em, but they're still ur family!

[26] You found your another half:
= yep, insyallah
[27] If yes, who is he/she:
= someone, somewhere, across the south china sea..
[28] Who you want he/she to be:
= to be the best that he can be in everything!
[29] Time(s) you in relationship:
= a few times.. 3 if im not wrong hehe
[30] Ever woo boy/girl:
= i only flirt when im single!
[31] Anyone woo you before:
= dats normal ryte? to woo and to be wooed..
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half:
= yes, i am not perfect, mind u
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done:
= that's between me, him and God
[34] Ever argue with your other half:
= what is a relationship without an argument?
[35] You with your other half since:
= almost 7 years ago
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo:
= totally straight!
[37] Reasons you love your other half:
= u dun need any reason for loving somebody.. the fact is u love him/her, that's enough 4 me
[38] You and your other half in which stage:
= as strong as ever.. but only distance separates us now.. sob sob
[39] You woo him/her or vice versa:
= it takes two to tango, they say =)
[40] Ever think of marrying him/her:
= 7 years in a relationship.. who doesn't?

[41] Your first best friend:
= err.. shahira
[42] Your first enemy:
= can't remember.. let bygones be bygones
[43] The friends you love the most:
= friends i consider TRUE friends
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1 only):
= those who backstab me and take advantage of my kindness
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend:
= my every girl friend is beautiful to me =)
[46] Your most handsome boy friend:
= i dun dig handsome boy friends.. i go for cute ones! lol
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most:
= those who are arrogant (thinks highly of herself), selfish and insensitive to her surroundings!
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most:
= those who are dishonest, strictly egocentric and have a disrespect for girls
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before:
= used to.. once.. but we were never in a real relationship
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover:
= not to that extend, nope..
[51] If your friend backstab you:
= i look, i ponder, i say bubye.. what's the point of keeping such friends?
[52] If your friend betray you:
= same as above
[53] If your friend woo your lover:
= na'ah, over my dead body
.[54] If your friends fall in love with you:
= that's the feelings they've to keep to themselves, im afraid.. if they're my friends, they should know that im in a relationship =)
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend:
= it can happen, but you should know who is more important to you

[56] Are you a good student:
= err.. define 'good', please?
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments:
= yep.. im a good girl, i am! =)
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most:
= all my english teachers!
[59] Always late to school/college:
= came to school with dad, so i rarely came late.. college? typical hehe
[60] Your class:
= arts/commerce (sec sch), tesl (college)
[61] You love your seniors:
= dun really noe em
[62] Senior who you love the most:
= can't answer dat one as i dun really noe em
[63] Your classmates good/bad:
= as far as i can remember, they were okay
[64] Excellent result classmate:
= majority of em were my chinese friends.. am i counted? not excellent but good lor ekekeke
[65] Laziest classmate:
= there was dis chinese boy.. who always escaped class during our sec school years.. college.. i noe who.. and he's now a kp sumwhere ahaha

[66] Smart people:
= those who know how to manage their time well, and know what to do at the right time, and are not afraid to explore his or her potential
[67] Stupid people:
= those who think they are better than others when in fact, they dunno anything at all
[68] Good looking people:
= those who are good looking but humble of his or her beauty
[69] Ugly people:
= those who think they are ugly, are ugly.. coz god made us all the same.. beautiful in our own special way
[70] Funny people:
= people who can make me rolling on the floor laughing.. bie.. my best pals.. my fellow chat friends.. my colleagues.. well u noe who u r
[71] Cute people:
= people with cute acts are cute! my best pals and bie =)
[72] Bad people:
= people who dun appreciate others and always take advantage of others are badddd.. i know one now..
[73] Honest people:
= those who are not afraid to tell the truth though what he or she says might be hurtful and have consequences
[74] Acting people:
= emmmm...
[75] You are what kind of people:
= only God, and those who are close to me will know what kind of a person i am.. as far as im concerned, i am as how you see me

[76] Lip or eyes:
= u can know everything from the eyes
[77] Hugs or kisses:
= both!
[78] Shorter or taller:
= taller
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous:
= spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms:
= nice arms to hold and take care of me
[81] Listener or talker:
= both! i prefer an all-rounder =)
[82] Romantic or rich:
= romantic, for he can make me happy
[83] Good husband or Good Father:
= good husbands make good fathers, for if they know how to take good care of the wife, he will also know how to take good care of the children and family

[84] Age to get marry:
= when the time comes.. =)
[85] Numbers of kid(s):
= i hope for 3
[86] Career:
= in the future eh.. erm.. a lecturer? now am a teacher
[87] Salary:
= that's, according to the govmt, 'SULIT' (confidential) =)
[88] Retirement age:
= 56, maybe
[89] Properties value:
= value.. dunno.. not that am aware of
[90] Wishes:
= to be able to exploit my potential to the max, be the best i can be to my beloved ones and god, and travel the world!

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Hurt by Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today (Ooh, ooh)
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call ya
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh yeah

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more day
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Cinta Ini Membunuhku by D'Masiv

Kau membuat ku berantakan
Kau membuat ku tak karuan
Kau membuat ku tak berdaya
Kau menolakku acuhkan diriku

Bagaimana caranya untuk
Meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
Kusadari ku tak sempurna
Ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku

From Sepilok Jungle Resort, with love

Course: Kursus Peningkatan Professionalisme Guru
Date: 25th October 2008
Time: 7.00am - 4.30pm
Venue: Sepilok Jungle Resort, Sandakan

We really had fun that day..!

Food.. foodddd..

Straw tower competition: cool aye!

Backdrop design competition.. and the winner is.. my team.. yay! =D

Uweeee.. we really LOVE the camera, don't we? *lol*

The participants of the course
(excluding me sob sob as I was the one taking dis pic)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My kind of Raya

My kind of raya this year? Urm.. how should I put it..
It was short, simple and sweet..! (yesss dat's it)

what is raya without ketupat, rendang and cookies..?

Daddy dearest.. so busy chit-chatting with my bros on Raya Eve =)

Even a big box could do.. izzit not, my darling cuzzies?

My two lurvely and cute cousin sisters.. how photogenic eh!
I kept snapping their pics the whole time during Raya =)

Our Raya would be incomplete without firecrackers..
We played heartily on raya eve.. damn fun!

My bro and his gf.. acting out oh-so romantic..
They even wore matching outfits *lol*

BFF, reunited: Emma, me, Ina & Faezah..
Thanx for the wonderful brunch, Eza! *winks*

Happy (belated) Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all..!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The unlucky one

A question from my colleague regarding my interview triggered my memory of what had happened not long ago.. It is still fresh in my mind as if it happened only yesterday..

"Miss Aida, your documents are incomplete, we cannot accept you for the interview.."
"What do you mean by incomplete?"
"Your degree is in English, so you must provide the BM translation. also, I notice that you dun have an official academic transcript"
"My other friends din have any issue with their degree written in English. Besides in the calling letter it stated that translations are needed only for degrees besides English and Malay.. but yes, regarding the transcript, I must say that its on the way from NZ as I just applied for it. We weren't told earlier about its importance.. I only have the unofficial one"
"Whatever your reasons are, it is still against what is required for the interview.."
"A little courtesy from the interviewer, perhaps? Can you ask on behalf on me?"
"I cannot guarantee anything but I will ask him after this"

A couple of minutes later, she came out of the interview room and shook her head, signalling me that the Datuk refused to interview me.. Furious, I nodded out of courtesy, took my folder and headed back home.. I tried to call my other friends regarding this matter.. I even called SPP to check on the degree translation matter and the only answer they gave me was to refer to SPP Putrajaya instead.. d'oh!

The next day, I rang my friend from the same university, who went for her interview in another centre, and to my surprise, she managed to get through for the interview, without any issue with the degree translation whatsoever. But of course, with a condition, provided that she will post the copy of the official transcript to JPN Sabah within 1 month period. But still!! I talked to my principal regarding the matter and he asked me to try again the next day (the last day for the interview).

Armed with the story of my friend's successful deal, I went to the centre. But to my frustration, again, the Datuk refused to make a bargain. Well.. at least I've tried.. so now I've no choice but to wait to be called for the next interview.. in which the earliest would be in March!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

In the mood for Raya

This is the first Jamuan Raya ever organised by the Muslim teachers in the senior block's staff room on the first week after Raya in October.. I guess everyone had fun that day!
(silly me for posting such a backdated entry but wth!)

This is followed by another jamuan by our best friend cum colleague, Fatmah, a local, who invited us to her house not long ago..Thanx for the wonderful lunch..
Gosh, I felt full until the next morning, Fatz!

Where food and more food are concerned, everyone seems to be delighted at even the mere thought of it! What more upon seeing it before your very eyes *lol*

Lam and I stopped by dis dessert parlour, 7 Heaven, to lepak after the lunch, and  straightaway chose dis cup of delicioLs Affogato from the menu, a combination of coffee and ice-cream (2 very very sinful things!). Slurrrppp.. yummy!

Last Merdeka road trip

Every picture tells a story.. These are the pics taken during our last Merdeka trip.. I just realise that I din post any of it the last time around! But I am now!

Aanyways, as my friends and I had planned to drive up north during the weekend, I managed to bring Bie sightseeing around Sandakan on Friday. We went out after Jumaat prayer and only came back at almost midnight! Whoa.. we really knew how to kill our time here!

Our first destination was Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre in Mile 14. We wanted to see the orang utans but unluckily only one turned up that afternoon!

Next, we went tracking down history by visiting Sandakan Memorial Park in Mile 7. I admit that I'd learn a lot here!

Hey, hey, hey.. this cute and nice-looking scoops of ice-cream is mine, all mine.. Nways, we had dis banana boat ice-cream, which is priced at rm 12, at 7 Heaven. Double thumbs up! lol

Next, we went to Trig Hill for dinner. yummy steamboat! Only rm 21 per head, very recommended, especially on weekend nights. On a full stomach, we went and tested our singing skills at Encore Karaoke, Sabah Hotel. It was very very funny, and enjoyable at the same time!

it was raining heavily throughout the journey..

Next, we drove up north and spent two nights in the ever mesmerising and beautiful Kundasang.. over there lies the great Mount Kinabalu, the highest mountain in Southeast Asia.. check out the view!

the entrance

remembering the fallen..

australian garden

english garden

borneo garden

Those are among the pictures taken at Kundasang War Memorial.. where the history all started.. I was amazed at all the information on the Death March from Ranau to Sandakan by the Australian, British and local soldiers, as forced by the Japanese who ruled at that time.. May they all rest in peace~

Our next destination was Kinabalu National Park.. the place where you can start your trekking up to Mount Kinabalu, if you think you can do so hehe (unlike us)

check out what we found at the kinabalu park info site!
wow.. i could hardly wait!

bracelets, and more bracelets at filipino market, kk

sunset in kota kinabalu, simply breathtaking

me, baby v, and menara tun mustapha

kundasang market, famous for its grilled bontot ayam

poring hot spring, ranau

nice, eh?

feet-soaking, how soothing..

hiking 835m up.. canopy walkway, here we come..!

at last..! tired but happy that we made it!

All in all, the trip had been a success, and I definitely look forward for more trips around Sabah!