losing grip

I'm still in the process of finding the best methods to approach my students. My attempts to improve things were of little avail. It's so hard, when you are trying to be what you are not. You try to be stern and firm with them. In the end, all I notice is that I'm being as unfriendlier than ever. I want to help them by asking them to be more serious about their studies, but it seems that my message is hard to be comprehended. I have this believe, how can you learn things if you are not serious about your studies? At their stage now, they probably cannot see what lies in front of them. All they wanna do is having fun. Why can't they have fun while being serious?

I believe that my students are teachable, they are not stupid or anything. I never used that word anyway. I always say 'I think you can do better' for anything can be achieved if you work for it. They're just being lazy, for God's sake! You can see it in their work. It's so obvious. I also notice that, it's not that I don't help them enough, it's just that they choose not to listen! I try to carry out as many interactive activities as possible to get them out of their coccoon and start to speak out. They're always so shy, and afraid to make mistakes. I always explain the importance of learning from our mistakes, but it is evident that they only listen and follow for a while, then 'woooshh!', off they go to an unknown universe.

However, some students are more than willing to learn. I notice how difficult it is for them to focus when their friends are not. You can see it by the look on their face when they're trying hard to digest the explanation given. Obviously, if I ask 'understand?', the rest of the class would simply nod in agreement. But when I go around the class to check on their work, words reach my ears.. "Teacher, buat yang mana?" OMG! Haven't I tried good enough? God, help! If they could just focus, or listen for a brief moment... Pleaseeeee!!

I won't stop my blabber just yet. As far as I enjoy teaching, reaching to the students is even tougher than I thought. I accept the challenge.. yes.. but somehow, teaching 5 different classes at once hinders my motivation. All I could do now is doing what I'm supposed to do, that is, completing the syllabus, and making sure that they're able to grasp at least one thing or one word along the way. I'm not giving up yet, hell not, for I believe there is a solution for every problem.. but, it'll only be a matter of time before I can finally find the best answers to all the questions that have been lingering in my mind lately...