Losing It, Fighting It

I heaved a long sigh out of pain and desperation. My heart and mind felt so stiff, almost as stiff as a wire, achy even, that it's difficult to endure further agony. Every single thing that I was told then and also now, flooded through my memory, like it happened yesterday.. it's always seemed that way. It had been so long since the last time I had to put up with whatever you're saying, whatever you're doing to me. All I did was absorbing everything like a big sponge, regardless of how painful it was. Sometimes it's just too much I couldn't handle it any longer. If I'm not strong enough, I might break down and cry my heart out. But I'd made a promise to myself last night, I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right. And if there any chance that I might lose it all, there'll be nothing left to lose and I would take in the blame, anything at all. It wouldn't matter anyway. Do you hear me? This thing has gone way too far. You can keep all your hurtful thoughts and remarks to yourself instead. I'm doing it, this time it's for sure.