To Be, or Not to Be

"When are you getting hitched??" 

That, I tell you, has been the most asked question since my friends and I had stepped into the working world, especially when you are in a relationship. It seems almost normal and natural for people to assume that once you've started working, next, it's all about getting married and starting your own family blah blah blah.. If only life is as simple as that. People might be wondering what is wrong with you.. but who says you can't be happy being just what you are right now??

For me, marriage is a big thing. The big M. It comes in a package together with the big R and C - that is responsibility and commitment. I'm not even sure when will I be ready coz that might take forever. But even to try and enter the world of marriage that is full of risks and probabilities send me shudders down my spine. I think I'm still not willing to trade my bachelor life for that yet. It's not that I don't trust my partner whatsoever, it's just that I'm not sure whether I'm a marriage material. Yeah, yeah.. you can laugh your heart out or disagree with me but sometimes I keep asking myself whether I am ready for those commitment thingy. Ha-ha this is so typical for a Sagittarian. But you must admit that there are lotsa things you need to take into consideration once you've decided to tie the knot. And at times, it could be difficult to be dealt with. Maybe I'm a commitment freak after all. I wonder how did I manage through an almost 7-year relationship all this while..... that is something to be pondered over.  

Some people might view this differently, but this is what I think. Actually, I'm quite surprised that a friend of mine had decided to get married just after a few months of courtship. Age does play a role here but they claimed that "it's time" and insisted "why wait?". Nevermind, if they think that this is best for them, then, why not? For me, it's a big no-no. I have to really know my partner inside out before finally being able to say 'yes' to his proposal. The idea of getting married sometimes seems to me like a 'stuck-for-life' agreement. Even in our everyday life, we need to consider the positive and negative outcomes of whatever deals we're doing right? That's where I am right now.. considering what is to become of me once I've decided to settle down. Once you begin, there is no turning back. 

Don't get me wrong here, I do love my partner. There are many good sides of getting married. Even in Islam we're encouraged to do so. But as much as I want to be together with him, I doubt whether I would be able to bear all the responsibilities well. Maybe that's the whole point of getting married - togetherness, that is, you handle things together. Yet, it still freaks me out. I don't want things to go against what I expect it to be. I HAVE to be ready to proceed with a marriage in hands. But the only thing that matters is when? Hurmm.. uncertainties really disgust me.