Thursday, October 28, 2010

Talk Less, Listen More

Familiar with the saying 'a problem shared is a problem halved'? Yes, definitely. If we tell someone about a problem, it is easier to deal with. I mean, we should not bottle up our feelings as it might eat us slowly from the inside.. agree? That's what I think. Sometimes, when people come to you about their problems, they don't expect you to help them solve the problems. In fact, they don't expect you to even agree with them! Most of the time, they just need someone to listen to their problems and understand their predicament. Yes, all you need to do is just listen.. REALLY listen. For some, listening entails merely hearing. But it's more than just a biological thing; listening is about understanding. You may think you understand, but you don't.

So here I'd like to ask you, are you a good listener?

When talking with someone, do you give your full attention? 

Can you recall most of the details of the conversation?

Do you interrupt someone while he or she is explaining their problem? 

Do you listen with an open and unbiased attitude?

If your answer is 'I'm not sure', then you need to start to listen more.. I believe that only through listening we're able to have a deeper understanding of people, their problems, our surroundings and life itself. But the question is, how??

According to this website, we should:

  1. Talk less. (true, we wanna be heard, not to be preached)
  2. Be approachable and receptive. (if you aren't, it'really is uncomfortable for us to talk to you)
  3. Give the speaker your complete attention. (refrain from doing anything else.. focus!)
  4. Maintain appropriate body language. (yes, eye contact would be much appreciated)
  5. Sincerely work to understand the message. (is it so hard?)
So, you know what you have to do.. In order to understand and be understood, you need to stop being a rubbish listener! Just showing empathy and that you care should be enough. Really. That's all I'm asking for!

p/s: Quoting a student of mine: "God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we listen more and complain less" How true, eh?

2 comments:

isabelle said...

i am not really a good listener, prolly bcoz i have too much to say. hehehe. bad ehh?

Aida Ikmal said...

kikiki.. well, setiap orang lain kan.. i think tak salah nak cakap, tp ada masa tu kita kena la dengar jugak apa orang lain nak perkatakan..