Anguished

I ain't perfect. But I try my best to be perfect for other people. I push my limits and I overcome every boundary to make everyone happy. However, sometimes trying doesn't seem enough. I try and try and try, but I always end up hurting. Tears swell up in my troubled eyes. Do you see it? Can you see it? Well, nobody seems to care. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.. I put on a brave face and try to be happy. Yet deep inside my soul is dying. Heartache. Yes, my heart does ache literally. If only I can put a stop to it.. I lay in my bed thinking about it over and over again. I can't sleep. All I did was toss and turn endlessly. Well, I always have trouble sleeping anyway. But this time, there's a lot going on in my mind. My brain is running around in circles, trying to make sense out of things. I'm so confused, so baffled to the point where all I could say is "God, help me". Yes, God listens. You don't think He does, but He does.

A lot has happened. A lot is still happening. Change is coming. Though not all change is necessarily good, but things are definitely changing. You said you care, but you show no regrets about all the things you did or said. I did my best to please you, but my best was never good enough. Tell me, if you really wanted to hurt me so much, why don't you just stab me in the heart? If I die tomorrow, would that be a relief to you?

Maybe I've failed you, but believe me, you've failed me too.